Farming and Loss

My brother-in-law Charles died just before Christmas. Although he had a chronic illness, his death was unexpected and tragic. He was a young active man with a beautiful family. There were a lot of arrangements to be made as a result of his death; people to notify, the obituary to be written, papers to gather, a public memorial to plan. He left behind a lovely wife, my sister, and a beautiful baby girl, my beautiful niece Sydney. Tragic. I am sad.

My husband called me at work to tell me the angora rabbits were dead. I was speechless with what I can only describe as grief. Another loss. The dog got into the garage, where they were housed and terrorized them. The dog had been in the garage many many times before. When he goes in with me, I have him sit by the door. He knows to go "out" when told. This time, he apparently wanted to play with them. He jumped into their cage and they got out and he played with them until they died, probably from being scared to death.

I have been responsible for the rabbits, the cats and the dog for awhile. I fed them, cleaned out their cages, switched out their water when it froze, and made sure they got to the doctor when needed. Rabbits get ear mites very easily, so two of them were on medicine. I had been thinking of selling (for a very low price) the angoras for months. They are a lot of work. You should trim their fur/hair/fibre every few months. I didn't do so well at that. But they were my babies. But I thought someone else could give them a better quality of life. I always felt badly that they were in cages. But we didn't want a bunch of unplanned babies nor did we want them to be subject to predators. So they were caged. Little did we know that they would meet their demise by their big brother dog.

We have dealt with death on our little farm previously. When we acquired our first chicks, we also were going through a trial adoption of two dogs. Ginger & Spice were two lab mutts. They were cute as can be and black as the night. We had to give them back for a number of reasons, one of which is when they got lose they ran off. We are on a state highway and it was a recipe for disaster. But before we gave them back, they got into the chicken coop. One chick died and one was injured, but survived. That wasn't too bad. Then, we acquired two sheep and two goats. We hadn't had them long when my husband called me at work and told me one of the goats he found on its back with its legs in the air. I thought he was joking. He rubbed the goat and got it back on its feet and it seemed to be ok. However, the goat did die later that day. There was no explanation, the vet thought it might be failure to thrive. Everyone else seemed ok and are doing well a year and a half later. Then there were the two pigs that we raised for meat. Mark had to shoot them before we took them to the butcher. The first one went down quickly. The second one took 4 bullets (really only three since Mark missed once). He screamed and ran and finally fell. I didn't care for that, but was never close to the pigs since I knew they would be a meal soon.

Who do you call and what do you say to people when you lose a farm animal. I didn't want to call my mother. She is already scared of the dog and would probably never visit again. Do I call my sisters who enjoyed the rabbits? They are already dealing with another with the loss of Charles and taking care of the business of his estate. Do I tell my co-workers? They might not understand. So, we just deal with it.

I keep thinking about the poor rabbits who should have been safe and were completely defenseless from the dog. I am sad.

Does VT Celebr8 BHM? IDK. But they do like the VDay Phntm

I've searched through the publications in the area and couldn't find any Black History Month (BHM) programs. But there sure was buzz about the Valentine Phantom- An odd, harmful, silly local lore... It was on the front page of the local paper. http://www.timesargus.com/article/20100215/NEWS01/2150337 Anyway, I didn't even realize it was BHM until NPR announced a program was sponsored by Annie E Casey Foundation in honor of BHM. Also, CNN had on another Black in America segment. And I watched a provocative short on HBO entitled Red Eye about how Black men are viewed through the lens of different perspectives.

I subscribe to the school of thought that Black History (and Native People's History and Mexican History) should be an integrated part of our society, not relegated to a particular month of the year. Besides, February has a lot of other distractions like the Olympics, Lent and as my coworkers declare, American Idol. I love the Olympics. It's the ultimate sporting event; a celebration of cultures and countries and sports. The pageantry and spectacle of it all is amazing. Plus the back stories of some of the Olympians are quite interesting. And yes, even in the Winter Olympics, there are some Black folk in there. Just last night there was an adorable young Australian ice skater whose father was Chinese and mother was Black (from Louisiana). And the night before one of the female bobsledders from Canada was Black.

Then Mark is driving down the interstate going home from a quick home improvement job and gets pulled over by a state trooper. Mark drives a late model red Dodge Ram truck with CT plates (no we haven't changed them over yet) and his records aren't quite straight. When the trooper approaches the driver's side, Mark asked him what the problem was. The trooper responded that he wanted his autograph. Mark is tall, 6 foot 5 inches tall. So he "excuse me" to the trooper. The trooper responded, "come on Mike. I know who you are. I just want your autograph for my kid." Mark responds that he is mistaken about who he is. The trooper laughs and says "I know you're Michael Jordan, I just want a quick autograph". Then a call comes over the radio and the trooper shoved the booklet at Mark. Mark scribbled his signature (which looks like scribbles). The trooper says thanks, runs back to his car and peals off. Mark said he drove 50 mph the rest of the way and didn't stop shaking til he got home.

I'm sure if we venture up to Burlington, the largest city in VT, we could find something happening. But it's not like CT or CA where there is evidence everywhere. Just something else to deal with being one of the few Blacks in VT.

You Know It’s Hard Out Here For A… Farmer!

We've divided up chores and among other things, I'm responsible for feeding the cats and rabbits before catching the bus at 6:15am. Mark feeds the chickens, goat, sheep and alpaca before he leaves for the day. Now that my commute will be half of what it was, (I was just hired as part of a Community Health Team) I will pick up the chickens.

We built the rabbit hutch and chicken coop ourselves. When we budgeted for the animals, we didn't take into account a number of very important things. Did you know that when temperatures dropped below freezing that would mean that the water for the animals would freeze? We had to invest in heating lamps. We also didn't take into account that that the heating lamps wouldn't necessarily work as well in a large space. So we needed to invest in a heated water bucket for the barn/shed (another ghetto project)

for the goat, sheep and alpaca. We had wanted to use our shed as a barn, but it's on a solid rock ledge, so sadly we couldn't use it. New barns run $1500-$3000 depending on size and materials used. And we weren't up to building a barn from scratch. Instead, I found a shed on craigslist that we had to disassemble for transport and reassemble on our property. Another ghetto project and it only took us a WHOLE month…

We also thought that the garage (where we house the rabbits and cats) would maintain temperatures above freezing, but it doesn't. We were fortunate enough to get a wood stove for free! But there's this little issue called wood that we didn't think through. As noted in a previous post, Mark is a pyromaniac. He has been cutting up fallen trees and using them as wood in our (now-ruined) outdoor fire pit, since we moved in.

So it didn't seem like much of a leap to use that wood for the woodstove in the garage. Well… Mark says it's not as easy as we thought. Especially since he's now cutting and splitting wood in sub-freezing temps. Thankfully, he does it and now the garage is toastier than the house!

Besides our hot water… you know what else runs on oil – our HEATERS! We dumbass city slickers thought our heaters ran on gas. When we ran out of oil a few months ago, the weather was mild so we didn't realize the heaters weren't working. We went through the last oil fill-up fast! Now that it's cold – it was -1* (minus/negative one degree) the other day – we noticed when we ran out of oil! It's funny how you use more oil in the winter. And we didn't budget for this. We still have animals to feed, not to mention feeding ourselves. Fortunately, the oil company is willing to work with us. They only charged us half of the non-route/emergency fee that they would have… Mark is now rethinking the wood stove project I lobbied for, that he previously protested when it was warm outside. We are not going through this again. It sucks.

I've been riding to Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center for the past four months on a commuter bus. Although it's only 30 minutes from my exit to the hospital exit, on the bus it's about 90 minutes each way which includes the various stops on the way. It doesn't make sense to drive everyday when the bus is only $1 each way. Although I did start ridesharing two days a week.

It's been rough (for me) on the bus since I have motion sickness issues, I leave home at dark and get home at dark, and from the time I get on the bus in the morning to the time I get off at the end of the day is 12 hours. Although it was a great place to work, I won't have to worry about all that anymore. Anyway, some of us were chatting the other day and this one woman was talking about how she spent $6500 on oil to heat her home in one season. She was trying to be frugal and kept her heat set at 60* - which is cold. She said she dressed in layers and slept with her dogs. $6500 to be cold?!?!?!?!? Another woman was saying that they kept their thermostat at 65* and dressed in layers. We all agreed that we want to be able to walk around in our undies and be comfortable, whether it was winter or summer. The woman with the dogs just moved into an energy efficient home and her house faces south, so her heating bills are a small fraction of what they were, plus her electric bills are under $50 month! That's what I'm talking about.

These experiences have made me realize that in addition to the books/manuals and helpful advice from friends and neighbors, we need instruction. I am proudly about to begin taking farming classes - All part of a University of Vermont Women's Agricultural Network program. Budgeting is included! Hopefully this will be the end of just plain ghetto and the beginning of structure with alittle flavor.

Your Sheep Are Out...

We got sheep...and goats. Two of each-all girls. They are sooo adorable. We found them at a farm that was going out of business at the other end of the state (2 hours away). The sheep are merino (imagine a soft and beautiful merino wool sweater or afghan) and the goats are angora (premium fiber there too).

Mark built this ghetto a** fence! It wasn't what I wanted, but he insisted it would work. It's about 100 feet long by 30-50 feet wide (it's not exactly plumb). It was an inexpensive option to what I wanted. Oh well.

So the other day, I gave him a shopping list for Thanksgiving dinner. He had the day off, I didn't. While he's roaming the aisles frantically searching for the items on the list a man walks up to him and says "you're Mark, right". Mark responds in the affirmative and the man (of course Mark doesn't remember his name) introduces himself as one of our neighbors around the way (our road is several miles long). Then the man tells Mark "your sheep are out". Mark says something like "excuse me" and the man repeats, "your sheep are out" then tells Mark to have a nice Thanksgiving.

Then Mark heads for the checkout line and is stopped again by another neighbor. This neighbor knows our address, but not the name. He also tells Mark "the sheep are out". Mark then stops at the corner store to get cancer sticks and guess what, the owner says, "hey Mark, I heard your sheep are out". When he finally gets home guess what, the sheep are out... They had challenged the fence and were able to squeeze their way under it. They were just grazing, all morning. They stayed on our land but grazed up field, down field, in the wooded area near the road. The had plenty of food, but no water. The goats were still inside the fence.

Mark spent the next several hours chasing the sheep, trying to guide them back into the fence without letting the goats out. He called me a number of times cussing and spitting and threatening to shoot them. He said they were "slick". He even called Carlton to help him. They almost got them in. He finally just let them be until he could get a third person. I was the third. We used the quad to guide them up the fenceline, Mark and I to keep them on the fenceline, with the truck angled by the door to force them toward the entry. That didn't work. Then we cornered them with the quad on the fenceline. Mark got a hold of one and popped her over the fence. I was scared they hurt her, but she seemed fine. The other one got away. We cornered that one near the wooded are, while the one inside the fence was butting the fence trying to get to the other one. Carlton tackled the sheep and plopped her over the fence.

It was all quite exciting. In the end, Mark reinforced the bottom of the fence the next day and they've been happy as clams inside the fence ever since. It's all good.

SolarFest Follow-up

It has been suggested that we cut down trees to accommodate solar paneling on our roof.

This is what the front of our house (the part that faces south) looks like from the top of our driveway. This picture was taken at the beginning of summer.

This is gorgeous (to us) and we wouldn't think of cutting down these trees. Time to think of alternatives. Any other suggestions?

Pitch Black Follow-up & Getting Hot Water

Bart and his girlfriend came and helped us fix our hot water heater (that is a long story*) so we went and helped them stack wood. It was great exercise. OK, so it wasn't fun, but we were happy to help out. Besides, they are way cool.

Any way, on the way home, at twilight I noticed that the long dark road that felt 10 miles long was actually 2 miles long and had quite a few houses on the road. Glad I was able to get a better perspective. Still wouldn't want to have car trouble there in the middle of the night...


*Living in a rural area requires quite a bit of adjustments. Actually moving to a new community is always an adjustment. When I moved into a condo back in CT, we had just had a major snow storm. It was cold. I adjusted the thremostat so we could warm up. Although the blower came on, it was blowing cold air. I called the previous owners who said they had no problem with the heat. The husband even came over to make sure I was using the thermostat correctly. Guess what, I never called the gas company. Previously, heat and hot water were included in the rent, who knew I had to call someone for heat and hot water!!! Of course the gas company didn't consider it an emergency. Fortunately I had a place to take a shower and had a portable heater so the bedroom was toasty because the earliest appointment I could get was two days later between 6pm and midnight. Guess who showed up at 11:55pm, the gas company! I was tired and irritable.

Fast forward several years later when we run out of kerosene. We have kerosene for the water heater, gas for the heat and cooking, and electricity for everything else. So guess what, no hot water. It's a pain to lug pots full of hot water to fill up the tub so you can take a warm bath. And guess what, the oil companies don't consider it an emergency. If you want them to deviate from their normal route, its an additional $100!!! Plus, the minimum is approximately $300 worth of fuel!!! (so you can't have them come out for $50 worth...) Thank goodness it's not yet the dead of winter. Thank goodness it was just the hot water. Thank goodness we resolved the issue quickly!

Vermont Women's Conference

"I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand."

So I decided to go to this conference to get feedback on my ideas for being a farmer/rancher (more about that in a future post). I had no idea how many women would attend, but I had a pretty good idea that I would be the only person of color. I was wrong! When I walked in there was actually another Black woman there - I immediately introduced myself. She was a dear! We attended the same workshops and had lunch together. She invited up to her home. Later I saw two other women who were ambiguously ethnic (unknown ethnic origin). I was strangely encouraged. And everyone else I met in the workshops and at the organization tables were very nice.

The keynote speaker was Lilly Ledbetter of the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act - the first Act President Obama signed into law. She was fabulous! She was introduced by Senator Patrick Leahy who was joined by his spouse. The President of Vermont Technical College, where the even was held, was a pretty good speaker as well. I completed bogarded (is that a racial slur?)my way to the front of the line and took a picture with them.










Senator Leahy's office sponsored this conference. He chatted with me about the picture he took of President Obama (I just love writing that) signing the act. He stood behind President Obama and took the only picture from behind. Leahy and his wife presented the picture to Ms. Ledbetter. Leahy also advised me he had a Black son (in law?) and several Black grandchildren. Apparently his son is now one of the photojournalists on President Obama's staff. Then he had his assistant take my name. Not sure why, maybe he wants this picture...?

The workshops I attended were pretty good - very informative and encouraging. The other women had some fabulous, eco-friendly, interesting ideas, all in various stages of development. Stuff I never would have thought of. Although everyone was pretty friendly, I was hesitant to share my business ideas. I wasn't sure it was a safe space. But a wise friend of mine once told me that we create our own safe spaces. So I shared my ideas and was very encouraged by the feedback.

The inspirational speaker at the conclusion was good. She said if we always have to witness something before we can do it, we will never be the first (like President Obama) and we will be limited to what others have already done. I liked that.